Tip of the Week: Choosing Words
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Tip of the Week
1. The girl walked down the sidewalk.
2. The girl skipped down the sidewalk.
3. The girl sauntered down the sidewalk.
4. The girl raced down the sidewalk.
5. The girl danced down the sidewalk.
What is the difference between all these sentences? They all involve a girl traveling down a sidewalk. All of them have the same result: the girl made it to the end of the sidewalk. So, what is the difference?
The first sentence gives you information--the girl walked down the sidewalk--but it doesn't give you much else. The other sentences, however, though they have the same word count, tells you something more: they tell how the girl was walking.
They also tells you something about her mood. Whereas, in sentence #1, you may have to add an adverb (ie The girl walked down the sidewalk happily) , the rest don't need the extra word. #2 implies that she is happy. #3 may imply that she is cool or indifferent. #4 implies that she's in a hurry or running from something. #5 implies that she's weird ('cause who will be dancing on a sidewalk with no music)?
In all genres of writing, choosing words is very important. It marks the difference between an exceptional peice and a commonplace one.
So here are some tips to help you choose better words in your writing.
For Poets:
Remember "Poetry is about distillation. Don't overuse expression, repeat words, make sentences longer than they need to be, use anything that isn't absolutely, irrevocably, unequivocally necessary to the meaning."
In other words, poetry is about squeezing as much meaning as you can into as few words as possible. Imagery is essential to the poet because you are weaving words into a very (most times) short piece. Therefore, every word has to be inserted, scrutinized, studied, and tossed if it doesn't add to the meaning.
Also, if your piece rhymes, and "the first thing that occurs to you after the word 'dumb' is 'bum' DON'T USE IT. There probably is a better word somewhere in the arsenals of your vocabulary that will get you to the meaning. You've just got to search harder. Don't be lazy."
That's pretty self-explanatory.
For Other Writers:
One of the best ways to start choosing better words is to cut "as," "is," and "was" out of your pieces. Those words are easy to use and, as such, tend to be overused (*raises hand as guilty*). Many times using the right words will allow you to cut unnecessary words that may hamper the meaning of your peice.
For instance, the sentence: "She was holding the figurine" may be more interesting if you say: "She carressed the figurine."
You may have to completely rearrange a sentence in order to cut "as," "is, and "was," but in the end the time and effort will be worth it. This will also force you to find a new word that will get your meaning across. Get a good thesaurus or just use the one that comes with your word processer.
Note: There are some instances where you can't cut "as," "is," or "was." I can't think of a plausible sentence that replaces: "My name is Michelay." But the point is that we get rid of as many instances as we can.
I hope these tips will help you reach a new level in your writing. Writing is a hard business, but we do it because we love it, don't we?
*all quotes are ©1999? Laura, a Creative Writing instructor I once had.
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Devious Comments
Maybe for next week's tips you can do a tips on dialogue. I know some people use "said" a lot. Sometimes it's all they say while there are better ways of saying "said"
With all that you can say I bet you'll make a novel out of it
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BIENVENIDOS A MIS PANTALONES!
Te amo con todo mi alma y corazón, pero solamente por cinco minutos. Pero por diez dólares, te amo toda la noche
Go to ~writers-in-progress it's awsum!
The reason is that the dialogue and description should speak for themselves and give all the information you need so that you wouldn't need another word.
But yes, I understand what you are saying because it can be overused as well. So, either he was wrong, I'm taking him too literally, or there is another way to eliminate "said" without replacing it. I'll have to research and find out. Which actually is the whole point! I'll learn something new! WEEJ!!
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To become a skillful writer is our goal!
"They're lovely," Raye smiled as the flowers were handed to her.
"The most beautiful flowers for the most beautiful woman," Lothar grinned."
Which looks a lot better to me than:
"They're lovely," Raye said then smiled when the flowers were handed to her.
"The most beautiful flowres for the most beautiful woman," Lothar said with a grin.
I won't deny that it's probably more of a stylistic thing rather than grammatical. But to me it seems that "said" should be used seldomly considering that the quotation marks already imply that it's being said. Your instructor's not wrong. It's really a matter of preference and it depends on the author as well. To me, the word "said" becomes far too overused and to me it states what's already obvious. So in my writing preference I try to use it as minimal as possible. I never say completely avoid it, I know there are some instances where you can't avoid it or writing wise, it looks much better to have it placed there. But I also think some instances the word itself can be avoided. Like instead of saying "he said with anger" could easily be replaced by saying "he spat out" or the like.
It's more like working around different styles and finding which one fits well with you. What I said was more of my own personal preference, and style, and the like. Which other people may not agree with me. So in this instance, your writing instructor isn't wrong, he just has a different opinion on how it should be handled. Grammatically, they're both right. It's just really about preference, and other people don't know that there's other ways around than just saying "he/she said". It'd be an interesting tip and a way for others to explore different styles.
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BIENVENIDOS A MIS PANTALONES!
Te amo con todo mi alma y corazón, pero solamente por cinco minutos. Pero por diez dólares, te amo toda la noche
Go to ~writers-in-progress it's awsum!
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